Rhyme n' Reason

When I See Your Name I Want to Cry

Fri, 24 May 2013 22:25:00 -0400

Held in reality, dangling by a thread
Water flushes up my nose and in my head
The sinus infection of the existential dead
These words suck, stay still, I’m inbred.
Emotional void and a barren conscious
My past, present, and future all righteous
But my belonging is far more salacious
I’ll just suffer alone and pretentious.
I can’t help My calmness of routine in my rhyming,
My collected pool of cool into which I’m diving,
My hurried soul never worried about thriving,
You’re dangerous and my conscious wall needs reviving.
All my revelations appear with such bad timing,
Another wasted evening with more hopes of dying,
And I can’t seem to recall a good time worth fighting,
Like the ones a few years back when our teeth were grinding.
Ahead of the curve but behind that monstrous
Idealistic image of value, I think it’s so obnoxious
That I can’t seem to grow up and not be spineless,
There’s a hiccup in my life and cancer in my bronchus.
The jittery bug crawls in without a word said
and sets up shop with more fake dreams to spread,
And with all the winding roads all traveled with dread,
In my slow pace, like a zombie, I tread.

Sobriety

Thu, 23 May 2013 01:27:09 -0400

When I’m not up in the sky,
I can’t feel the crushing guilt
of my wasted time.
When I’m not feeling my blood
coarse through uninhibited,
I feel justly fine.
When I stare alone in my empty home,
waiting for the next day to come,
I pass away the minutes.
But if my head isn’t to be found,
and my mind is focused on sounds,
Limbo is where I’m restless.
Fighting the quips of culture
through exile that’s torture,
isn’t the happiest of lives.
But with my hard earned success,
that’s really nothing to brag,
I’m glad I’m not missing those highs.

Drabble III

Sun, 19 May 2013 05:29:00 -0400

It’s the ever mounting pressure
to be something I can only dream of
that keeps me drinking at night
pondering, scheming on how to be Better.

I write, legs up, flesh naked
a cold air no where to be seen.
Sheets as rough as silk,
a heat sinking in my gut.

A sexless rhythm is in my soul
pounding away ironically at my bones
My confidence is in need of a home,
My mind is wanted back on my shoulders.

A stagnant breeze dampens my mood,
driving me to my ancient dome.
A cold summer fan alleviates my groove
that I’ve spent years digging.

That familiar taste of a time forgotten.
That smell of friendships lost, fewer earned.
My sadness wells from a hole in the ground,
and all my love trapped inside her urn.

Call Back

Fri, 17 May 2013 23:05:00 -0400

I must be doing something right
you keep stammering with me
on and on until the sun makes it back
till the birds chirp and the dirt cracks.
I’m a shut-in, through and through,
and you’re still here, what’s wrong with you?
Porn, booze, and endless freedom
Food and clothes are not welcome
This is my everything, what I call whoredom
something we can relate to in your kingdom.
I can see you through and I’m sure you can the same
but you never admit it, are you to blame?
Were your defenses down for a brief time?
That hasty moment when I fell in love
Now closed forever, my future fantasies severed.
But even as I come to grip with you,
all I can remember and justify
is that I must be doing something right,
because I’m still in touch with you.

I'm Sorry, I'm Awful

Fri, 10 May 2013 04:14:10 -0400

I got questions
and you have answers
to life, the universe,
and love forgotten.
An anonymous interest,
so endearing you exclaim.
My only wish is never to know
my pseudo lover’s flame.
But in this fire,
where metal drips
so hot is your touch,
it can melt through the Earth.
A time for rebirth is all I crave,
a chance for my worth to shave
off a few bumps of lonely waves,
and watch me dive into the surf.

Drabble II

Sat, 04 May 2013 15:44:50 -0400

I feel disgusted yet welcomed
and outraged but delighted
and hate of myself
and love to yourself.
Old habits die hard
in ways I can’t fathom.
I thought I was never good enough,
and I still do.
But you persistently mentioning
the opposite things,
yet consistently act the other way,
it hurts and tugs on my heart strings.
I know I’m overreacting
and I know that there’s nothing to this.
But just for once I want to be normal,
to think normal, and be set free.

Summer Lovin'

Tue, 30 Apr 2013 04:58:00 -0400

I feel my skin a’cookin’ 
Baby my heart’s an oven
I want that summer lovin’ 
Burn all bright and beat all true.
Shady trees I’m a’huntin’
Your life is unbecomin’
Babe, I want that summer lovin’
To shine polish on you.

I get my greed a’racin’
Can’t you see my pockets burnin’?
I want your summer lovin’
To grip me and never let may.
Fever pitch, my mind a’meltin’
This cold mirage a glistenin’
Hun, I need your summer lovin’
But that’s ok. That’s ok.

I come up with dumb little songs while I’m at work to pass the time, here’s one of them.

Blind

Tue, 23 Apr 2013 03:40:57 -0400

I wish the world
lost their sight like me
To be so blinded
that no one could make out
features so prevalent.
I pray each night
as I’m restoring my eyes
that stunning high-definition
is just fragmented imagination.
Once the conditioning winds down
and I can see at my own true self,
I see an object of beauty,
not another soul to match.
It’s without my script
that I feel comfortable in my skin.
But once those frames are attached,
my beauty and courage are subject to theft.
Negative one seventy five
all the Right has been waved.
Negative three point two hundy
only a dissipating shell is Left.

Drabble I

Mon, 22 Apr 2013 21:36:09 -0400

The people I talked to, the few that do,
Uplifting boredom, your gray scaled colors show true.
Fashionably fabulous but buyer’s remorse
it’s no wonder you had it all stolen.
The tearing weight of a champion lost,
El Generalissimo now stands in your wake.
It’s bright outside, my window tells me,
but enclosed in my sick bay is where I’ll stay.
My thoughts, to those who stay close:
I miss the man that I’ve hated the most.
I can hear the creaks in my nose,
and the cries from my skin,
the terror from my stomach
to the weakness of my brain.
And the lack of the antonym in my everything.

Back There

Sat, 20 Apr 2013 18:16:39 -0400

I keep having these
Fantasies
in which I am better
at everything.
I’m bigger, stronger,
better equipped.
Quick with a joke, a smoke,
a life I must’ve skipped.
Rants and Raves
I miss all the same,
twelve hours on two wheels
really turns the frame.
I can’t keep clear,
I want the fog back in my ears.
Those sights and lights
and crowds
put me back into first gear.

Ensalada de Medicina

Fri, 19 Apr 2013 03:41:00 -0400

My words are so literal with no imagination
and I see you just spiraling along,
rainbows touching your tits
shouting aloud and beckoning for more!
Yet with a subtle kiss, you are tidal.
Yet with a gentle touch, you are cosmic.
With a leering pry
and with those damn dark brown eyes.
Your ivories send sonics through my own,
even the forgotten three rattle in their holes.
Your lips were nearly mine,
so why’d you go, radio silence?
Why did you read me? And these?
Your awful words conspired against me.
Bringing my hopes up
and sinking my doubts low,
I enter my stony grove,
to sleep with your memory’s trove.

Mountain Dew

Thu, 18 Apr 2013 06:31:03 -0400

Sparkly beings atop sparkling trees
haunted souls on wicker floors
dining and cavorting
passionately swaying down and down
to pool depths, so bitter and cold.
My bones ache with a sweetness
this carbonation of fleetness
shows my lack of completeness
in everything, especially you.
My nudist sensations
mark my dangerous ways.
My bruises and marks
confine my inner beauty.
I continue to sip this elixir of aww
excuse me, AWE, inspiring take.
To be forgotten is a common delight
foreshadowed by my indomitable might
who could ever find love in sprite,
a mystery, as one could find it, true.

Slut

Thu, 18 Apr 2013 05:10:00 -0400

Thick ass, think fast, give me whiplash
with your big bulge, wanna indulge in
your heat.
I wanna sit down, you inside
cherish all and we’ll reside
off the street.
I wanna sleep alone, mind a-drome
copycat until I die, never mind how I try,
fantasy feeling.
Keep on searching for your tasting
with my life I’m slowly wasting,
tragedy healing.
I’ll still do me, and do you and you,
come on, come back and push it true,
mountainous hymn.
Jitters and shakes, I calmly awake
and hustle and slink my way out.
Phantom limb.

Pulp Fraction

Thu, 18 Apr 2013 01:39:13 -0400

notnowyoutwo:

Beauty, grace, talented creativity
make the man
where having all but one
will tear them down.
Dancing in the street,
parading around the night,
simply to enlighten
a dark and stormy frown.
For it’s the former that limits me
by having none of those three
and it haunts my self, my faults.
I plan to float down the red sea.
Into oblivion or into stardom
the only two possible outcomes,
in my forsaken view of what life can be.
And it all started:
With some rope around my feet,
a bench beneath the mesquite,
and some pills, blotters, and weed.
“I try Ringo,” I hear in my ears,
“I try real hard to be the Shepherd.”
But I can’t be, I cannot lead.
I cannot lead.
Because I’m nothing of those three.

Breathless

Thu, 18 Apr 2013 01:38:58 -0400

notnowyoutwo:

Never again will this one tremble 
to sort beneath my feet I forever shall. 
Forget what is put into motion 
and just go with it. 
Relaxing and taking its time through your mind,
guiding and gliding, its stutter we find.
My mouth will move, my cords will strum
a hiccup inside, sound sensations above.
Truly you cannot believe this tale of splatter
where else would you find all this matter
of fact and factoids and ruses, those ruses!
Silence is golden, I stand by it
but I need to find my voice.
My real voice.
Not this lash of quiet.

Puzzles and Riddles Galore

Thu, 18 Apr 2013 01:38:21 -0400

notnowyoutwo:

My madness is condemning, my rhythm and flow.
I’m screeching to a halt and I rather like it; though
I can’t seem to stop my words from wading through snow
and for the love of God, I just want to go slow.
My thoughts are jumbled into rhymes that grow,
they never make sense except to me, I know.
But it’s the only way I can effectively show
that I’m not ending up as another John Doe.
So solving my case is a matter of woe,
and denying you access is admittedly low.
That’s the game, finding my pieces that glow,
and returning them home, a quid pro quo.

A Rockstar for Five Hours

Thu, 18 Apr 2013 01:37:56 -0400

notnowyoutwo:

Making my way downtown,
at the rise of an early day.
Already the waves cascade,
thousands of souls out to play.
The sun shone and the wind breathes,
the loud and cacophonous harmonies
of those thousands outside
all waiting to feed.
Their hunger for knicks and knacks,
even while their discontent distracts
and their love interacts with fire
and metal, rusted to beauty.
By high rise the sea floods into oceans,
as do the hopes of promotions,
and when they see my fluidic motions
they’ll never question me off duty.

When the moon peaks in the East
do the artisans become wary,
for they have not been so lucrative
as was I before my ice bled cherry.
They scramble for what little light is left,
carelessly ditching their expectancy
knowing that down two blocks lies
the remnants of that once great sea.
That sea that I drag up with my wheel
and onto my dirt covered shorts,
knowing full well that the holy water
will cleanse and shiver me down.
And I do it, for the fame and glory.
For the recognition of my lone scar
sunken deep on my shin and to my knee.
For the abandonment of my woes, and
for the taste of that freshwater sea.

I don't know what it is about late nights

Thu, 18 Apr 2013 01:36:44 -0400

notnowyoutwo:

When I’m drifting around 2 in the morning…
3 in the morning and further still,
I feel the need to defrag myself
to compress my hard rive, if you will.
I feel compelled to let it all out
and yet I never do.
Because I want to shout it out,
but there will be no one to hear it too.
I’ve strayed quite far from it all,
I can’t possibly return home.
I’ve become too attached
to my food, water, and chrome.
Focusing on the unimportant
and neglecting the utmost,
how can I ever begin to think
that I’ll ever be a good host?
This is a beginning, alright,
one that I dare not imagine.
But some funny things happen,
when life is no challenge.

Having trouble sleeping

Thu, 18 Apr 2013 01:35:50 -0400

notnowyoutwo:

Just can’t wait to be done
Can’t stand anymore fun
Reconcile in your lover’s bed
Oh lord I can’t wait to be dead

I miss

Thu, 18 Apr 2013 01:33:33 -0400

notnowyoutwo:

Your likes, comments, compliments and faves.
I miss your heart, soul, body and rage.
I want you back, here, near and now.
But I won’t get that, never matter how.

Fuck that sucked. I’ll try to write something better next time, when it’
s not 9:30 am.